Quotes: Absurd Life

absurd with tree

“Bad Choices make good stories.”
“I’ll See you in court’ is the grown up version of ‘I’m telling mom.”

“Mirror says yes camera says no.”

“Favorite childhood memory: not paying bills.”

“Your secret is safe with me…and my best friend.”

“Life tip: when nothing goes right, go to sleep.”

“Burned 1000 calories today, left the pizza in the oven too long.”

“Sometimes all you need is a billion dollars.”

“The human body has 7 trillion nerves, and you manage to get on every single one of them.”

“Nothing is impossible with the Pirates of the Caribbean tune in the background.”

“I’m not arguing, I’m explaining why I’m right.”

“Technically if you don’t cut a cake, it’s still only one slice.”

Thanks to Tumbler, Viktorija G. and The Bored Panda for the absurd life quotes.

http://www.boredpanda.com/absurd-quotes-about-everyday-life/

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